by: Marina Andriola
Get schooled on Surf Etiquette by a Standup Woman
Is aggression in the water a gender issue or a surfer issue? Is localism practiced equally by both sexes? Are water-women more evolved than their surfing brethren at maintaining peace and order in a crowded line-up?
Below is an actual conversation from a popular online surf forum.
Two men discuss how to take care of a problem novice.
Following that is how one woman would handle a similar situation BEFORE it became a problem.
(Names and places were changed because hey, this could be anywhere a wave breaks!) Read and learn.
Today at (the spot) this guy on a standup paddleboard kept dropping in on people. He then burned another local dude and put a big ding in his board. What a kook! I should have said something as soon as the first drop in occurred, but I was on my way up to (the other spot).
Just wondering how I may find out the identity of that standup paddling clown who was out today when you and I were there. Tall, dark hair, blue board, same kook, right? Dude dropped in on me, too, aimed his board left at me, and either fell off or shot it at me. He refused to own up to responsibility for several large dings, including one hole which occasioned my leaving the water. Thanks!
I’ve met that barney before but I forgot his name. He drives that little green smart car with racks on top. If I remember right, he lives (in the Valley) somewhere. He dropped in on a guy just as I paddled out. Kook got sounded on it hard but he didn’t seem to understand why. I can’t believe he burned you, too. He’s a nuisance for sure and gives guys on standups a bad name. I’ll try to find some 411 on him.
Thanks! I’ll never give him a moment’s tranquility out there. Most of you guys who sup (the spot) are a credit to the culture, but this dude… yeah, he’s a total kook. No business being out in the lineup.
How a woman would handle a novice standup surfer in the lineup, before calamity happens:
(Paddles up to the novice.) Hi! You’re new around here, right?
Yes, I’m just learning. I’ve been watching your moves on that pretty board you ride! I just love that color!!
Oh, thanks! Your board is pretty too! My boyfriend wanted to give me his old board to ride but I just love my purple tank. My name’s Alice, by the way.
Really nice to meet you! You’re really good on that board! My name is Melissa. I used to kayak a lot, but I went to a sup yoga class, and after that, all I could think about was learning to ride waves!
Melissa, I know you don’t know the rules of surfing yet, but some of the surfers out here are real jerks.
You don’t want to piss them off, trust me! There are a few unspoken rules you’ve already broken. Can I give you a few pointers?
Thanks Alice! I’d really appreciate that!
Ok Melissa, follow me to the outside, here comes a big set!
And that’s why women will someday rule the lineup …and the world!
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